MMOIA

By Jon Stow

As I have mentioned before I am a serial breakfast networker (no, not a cereal breakfast networker). I do go to networking events at other times of the day of course, but the really regular stuff is in the morning. It is important that it is regular and that I see my business contacts as often as possible. That is how we build a relationship of trust. Yes, I have said that before, but it is essential we all remember it. It is the only way we can give serious referrals to our friends and it is the only way we will get them.

Apart from the regular stuff including the meetings I lead myself, periodically I go to morning meetings organized by others, such as those run by the local Chamber of Commerce under their separate network brand. These are not so frequent and perhaps not the ideal way to build a relationship, but with the serendipity factor we never know where a chance conversation may lead.

I went to one such meeting a few weeks ago. If I am honest, though I never push it, people who turn up to a very early meeting are often more prepared to attend other more regular breakfast meetings, and perhaps mine. If I mention that I run a weekly meeting, people might latch on, but I never “sell” any more than I would sell my business at one of these meetings. If people want to know what I do, they will ask me.

At the Chamber meeting I sat with a local stockbroker. He told me what an excellent service he provided, and showed little interest in what I did, even though potentially I could be a referrer of clients for him. No, he concentrated on selling me his services and afterwards, having requested and obtained my business card, he sent me a “Thank You” card, in which was written:

“Thank you for allowing me to introduce myself. I appreciate the time you spent with me. When I can be of service with your investment needs, please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you again.”

That sounds quite polite and respectful, but in fact he still showed no interest in me except as someone to sell to. He sent a similar card to one of my friends who went to the same event. Neither of us was impressed, because we do not like being sold to, and we are looking for new contacts who are open and giving as we try to be.

The stockbroker is a hunter. Hunting has its place in networking, but mainly amongst job seekers who have a short period to sell themselves. It is no way to get business, though, because people generally want to work with those whom they trust, and you cannot trust someone until you get to know that person.

Our stockbroker will probably not go to many more networking events. He will decide they are a waste of time because he will not have gained any business. He will not consider that he is at fault with his approach.

I am interested in watching birds of the feathered variety, but I confess that due to lack of time hitherto, I have not learned to recognise too many. I need to read up on ornithology, and would certainly not consider going to watch birds of the marsh and shoreline without reading up as to what to look for, where I would find certain birds, and how best to succeed in the hobby.

The stockbroker is clearly not a natural networker or a real people-person. Ideally he should ask someone or buy a book. He could perhaps start with the classic “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie, written in 1936 but still as relevant as ever. He would learn a lot if he took it in. He might understand how to farm his network rather than hunt. However, there may be no helping him and as I said, soon he will probably give up networking altogether. That will be his loss.

(C) Jon Stow 2009

Jon Stow, the author is a businessman living in South East England with his wife, Gloria and three cats. He is an accidental entrepreneur, owns a tax practice, and is also a measured business adviser and management consultant when asked to help. He is a director of Exemplary Consulting Limited, which provides hands-on help to small businesses and their owners in meeting the challenges they face.

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