Selling Can Be a Learned Skill But Effective Selling Comes From the Heart

By Gordon Folka

There are traditional sales skills and there are good sales skills. Selling has been taught as a learned skill. All you have to do is follow the ancient tradition of “feel-felt-found”. This is one of the most famous skills taught to new salespersons world wide. All you have to say to your future customer is: “I know how you feel, I have felt the same way myself, but here is what I have found”. Sound familiar? These tricks are getting pretty old and most people today get the willies every time a salesperson repeats these phrases. Today customers are a lot more sophisticated and avoid conversations with these slick salespeople.

This is not to say that these techniques are not valid. They were after all built upon a foundation of true empathy. The “feel-felt-found” formula is a way to honor the other person’s experience and feelings. But like any other technique it can become habit forming and at times trite. You can fall into the trap where the person you are talking to will feel that you are using a technique and not being genuine.

Listening to the person and responding in a genuine manner is far more effective than trying to manipulate the conversation through a practiced technique.

Any learned skill or technique can come off as sounding practiced and routine. It is up to you to use any technique with sincerity and openness. Even using the person’s first name too many times or at the wrong time can be very annoying. Make sure you have the name correct in the first place and make sure you use the name of the person correctly. If his name is James do not call him Jim, especially if he introduced himself as James. If you cannot pronounce his or her name correctly ask for clarification. They will respect you for caring enough to ask. And remember, once you know the person’s name always use it with respect. Do not appear casual, say like the person is a friend.

As mentioned before, people are becoming more sophisticated today and are more likely to pick up on any practiced technique. If you are in doubt as to how to communicate with a person, just be yourself. Your purpose is to provide value for the other person, not to make a sale.

Your intention in sales is getting know people. Engaging them in relaxed conversation and listening to them closely. Let yourself be guided by a genuine interest in the person you are talking to and keep your focus on the other person. Never talk about yourself – this is their moment!

I am a firm believer in maintaining an active lifestyle. There are no magic bullets to good health. Eating the right foods, getting plenty of exercise and of course spending quality time with loved ones. I have been truly blessed with many people in my life. Understanding myself and building relationships is rewarding in so many ways. If you enjoyed this article please visit my website for an opportunity that may change your life as it has changed mine.

And also take a look at what this industry has done for many who are seeking financial freedom by visiting

Thanks for taking the time to read my article. I hope you got something of value and please tell others.

You may contact me at or by phone at 250.216.4595

Gordon Folka

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